Ok, so here is my lockdown lowdown!
I am craving things I never thought I would crave.
I am not a tactile person, yet I want to hug EVERYONE.
I am not really a party girl, but I want to go to a bar, dance NEAR people and even have a cheeky drink.
I want to walk my dog and not have to move to the other side of the pavement when someone walks past in order to keep social distancing.
I even put make up on today just to feel alive!
Not just a lash, a full face!
There are only so many isolated activities I can achieve day to day.
A typical week for me consists of:
Monday: Can't seem to get going or get out of bed. It get's to midday and I feel guilty that I am still in bed. Monday is that "Get up and GO" kind of day, and at the moment, it feels like I'm forever trapped in a box and Monday is outside the box.
Tuesday: Feel so guilty about Monday, get out of bed at 11ish (because why the hell not) attempt a workout. I tell myself it has to be light because I had a day off. I manage to convince myself of this a lot. Teach for an hour with Broadway Weekends - which has seriously given me purpose.
Wednesday: OK, my week feels like it's started. Started doing Nat Hope's PIYO class on Zoom! I also try and do my Zorro cast workout on zoom, most days I make it...other than Monday's. I am going to call Monday's DEVIL DAY!
Thursday: Schedule in some zoom lessons maybe, walk around the house, open the fridge multiple times expecting there to be something I desperately want in there, on the 10th time opening it up, I take out an apple - How boring.
Friday and through the weekend seems to be QUIZ's galore.
Oh and SLEEP? I now seem to only sleep between the hours of 2am - 4am, 5am - 8am and 9am and 11am, and if you're lucky, I get out of bed!
I think I'm starting to find screens overwhelming. It's a lot. You kind of get that face to face interaction, yet we haven't quite developed how to just walk through the screen.
I am battling wanting to stay in touch with everyone with desperately wanting to throw my phone out the window.
There are only so many things I can watch, be it NETFLIX, online theatre streams, IG Live. It all feels a lot at the moment. (Although I will say, treat yourself to "Flowers For Mrs Harris" it's glorious and I had a very nice cathartic cry).
Whilst I am lucky and at my parents I have a garden and space, I find that because of that, I don't leave the house to even go for a walk. I actually think this pandemic is going to create a generation of agoraphobics.
This week I tried to read my book, carry on writing my own project, learn things for a self tape (that I ASKED to do for fun by the way) and my concentration levels right now are so low and my mind feels like scrambled eggs. I want to do 50 things at the same time, or nothing at all.
We're all doing the best we can! It's a funny old time and I'm sure my madness will pass. It's important to laugh at yourself. I called a friend the other night and literally whined about a headache, listening and looking at myself on facetime just made me take a step back and chuckle. My eyes looked like they'd been stung by a wasp and I sounded like a 4 year old not being able to have a biscuit before dinner. I know I have to cut myself a break and not worry that I'm not being incredibly proactive everyday, but it's hard! As a real "up and at 'em" person, it's reaching a month in lockdown and all I want to do is spin on a hill singing
"THE HILLS ARE ALIVE!"
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| Park life |
Keep going all! This madness will end!
BIG LOVE and a socially distant hug!